Friday, July 20, 2007

I wanna talk about ME

Are you a country music fan? There is a song by Toby Keith (love his music!) that says

"You know talkin about you makes me smile
But every once in awhile

I wanna talk about me
I wanna talk about I
I wanna talk about number one oh my me my
what I think what I like what I know what I want what I SEE!
I like talkin about you you you you usually
but occasionally
I wanna talk about me!!"

And that's how I'm feeling today. So guess who WE are going to talk about? LOL!

Yesterday I was terminated from my employment. Truly, their loss. There is still a sexual discrimination investigation and a Union investigation pending. I have never been let go from a job for poor performance before. Top of my class in school, National Honor Society,etc. Worked through college. Have gotten along with every boss I've ever had (and I've worked since I was 12 years old). This is the first time I haven't. Anyways, as I was driving home yesterday I was thinking about my life in retrospect. And in reality this experience (and in particular this sexist man) is nothing but a speed bump in the road to run over. I have not led a sheltered life. I've experienced life and all the possible pains that go with it. Losing my job doesn't even come anywhere near the top. Somehow, losing a child (or in my case childREN) puts everything in perspective. Nothing else is quite as important. Also, surviving makes me stronger - and probably due to that strength I was able to hold out at that job as long as I did and make the choices I made in the end. I wasn't going down without a fight because there would be people behind me who wouldn't be as strong. Heck, there are people there NOW who aren't as strong. I've had a couple females from the department tell me how brave I am to do this because they have been too afraid. Others have left and have only said why on the way out. Regardless, I did what I could to help others who will come after me. We don't allow bullying in our kids' why should we allow it in the administration areas?

In lieu of my mood I'm sharing a few pages from my "Book of Me". It's the one scrapbook that is ALL ABOUT ME (yep!) It's not as thick as my other scrapbooks but I do have one. This first page is about Things I Love.

Remember you can click on the picture to make it larger.

The top picture is of me and my friend Kelly when we were younger. She's since been murdered (along with her two kids and husband). The middle picture is a picture that I took of my son Dakota. And the bottom picture is a picture that was taken by the photographer from The New York Times when we were in an article about multiple birth losses. It's a picture of me and my surviving son, Mario.

Next I'm going to share a two page layout. This was done kind of as an "assignment" from my counselor as a self-esteem exercise. The first page is some journaling with more detail than is on the list on page two.

Page two has the list and a photo of me. Boy, I change alot don't I? This picture was taken probably about 4 years ago.


1 comment:

Aznewmom said...

Wow! We have a lot in common girl. How strange.
Although I did not suffer the horrible loss you did, I delivered two premies too, w/all that entails. I have suffered through a friend's suicide and a family member's. I also lost a very dear friend to murder years ago. They say that she actually stopped her husband from coming in to the hospital to kill us all for helping her get away from him. I cry everytime I think about her.

I'm sorry you are going through another horrible time in your life. You are so right, the other losses make this look ever so much smaller.

Please hang in there and know there are others thinking of and pulling for you. You are strong and will get through this.